Printers have taken to hanging around the doorways to offices across the country as they join smokers as the latest outcasts in our increasingly health conscious society. ‘I’ve caused no trouble in years,’ said one Lexmark E352dn laser printer standing out in the cold. ‘Then all of a sudden… Bam! I’m not wanted anymore. They say I’m dangerous. It’s victimisation. That’s all it is. And you can’t tell me that this isn’t the work of the inkjet mafia. They’ve been wanting rid of us for years.’

Experts argue that the small particles of toner released by printers are a health concern but others think that it’s a general attack on printer culture. ‘People don’t like to see how efficient we are with out 5% coverage,’ said an aging HP Laserjet who says that he’s seen it all before. ‘Back in the 90s, everybody said bubble jets would would see the death of us. Then it was dye submlimation. They couldn’t get rid us then, so now they resorting to scare tactics.’

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