Many times I have seen his face redden with fury as he bends to pull another offending weed from his meticulously kept borders. The fact this primitve little man clings vainly to the concept of borders in todays global village tells me he must harbour those filthy nationalist tendencies which have no place our liberal utopia that welcomes all people of all persuasions and attitudes to this wonderful melting pot we call Britain without exception and he must be removed from our screens forthwith and ERADICATED FROM THE PUBLIC CONCIOUSNESS *flecks of spittle land on the monitor at this point and eyes bulge wildly* BEFORE HE INFECTS OR OFFENDS ANYBODY WITH HIS INTOLERABLE INTOLERANCE…