Week nineteen of the Paul Daniels trial opened with the prosecution calling witnesses who claim to have seen Daniels waving a magic wand in the face of a distraught cash-and-carry manager in Wrexham last June. One witness recalls Daniels threatening to turn the manager into a walrus unless she accepted magic coins in exchange for four bottles of vodka and a packet of peanuts. According to Mrs. Gloria Swinebottom, Daniels had been drinking Tizer all afternoon and had lost all sense of smell. ‘He kept screaming, “I can’t smell it Debbie! I can’t smell it”, but we never knew what it was he couldn’t smell. It certainly wasn’t the Tizer. The stench was all over him.’

Watching from the gallery, Debbie McGee broke down as more witnesses claimed that Daniels has a history of midget baiting. ‘He would often threaten midgets with his wand during rehearsals for his BBC shows,’ said Elvis Turtle, midget manager and one time assistant to Daniels. ‘One time, he held a midget by the ankles until they promised to sing for him. And when they did, he began to cry like a baby. He would make the rest of us sing harmonies until he fell asleep.’

Daniels is standing trial for canceling his Sky subscription before the minimum six month contract had lapsed and not returning his free Sky+ box.

The case for the prosecution continues.

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