Tate Modern’s New Installation Floors Visitors

It is meant to represent ‘the nature of beingness and the divisions between people’, but the Tate Modern’s newest art installation has run foul of visitors who don’t quite understand the meaning of the 46 high power lasers that form an impenetrable grid across the Turbine Hall. The laser net has already accounted for three visitors who have been sliced in half, while dozens more have suffered minor injuries.
‘It fills the space wonderfully,’ said a spokesman for the Tate, ‘which is more important than a few minor points of interpretation. What you should remember about a work of art this significant is that it challenges people on both emotional and intellectual levels.’
‘I lost my ear,’ said American tourist, Dwain Hennessy. ‘I don’t normally like art but this has certainly made me think about the nature of ears and why we have them.’
Other visitors share Mr. Hennessy’s view that art can be a life changing experience. ‘It has certainly helped me think differently about blindness,’ said Mary Shalwater, who was down in London for a two week holiday. ‘I’m just not sure I wanted to think this deeply about it.’
The laser grid will be powered up for another month before it begins a tour of galleries across the nation.






October 11th, 2007 at 9:05 am
Smashing work big man. That’s made my morning.
October 11th, 2007 at 9:57 am
You have excelled yourself; brilliant! Wang it round the arts press.
October 11th, 2007 at 10:29 am
Thanks Matt. I’m trying to get Arts Council funding for my own laser net.
And thanks too Mopsa. I tried ringing them but they won’t take my phone calls.
October 12th, 2007 at 5:36 pm
Love it, homicide as art, i approve.
October 13th, 2007 at 8:17 am
Tate’s exhibition is pure plagiarism - based on cracks in Hackney Council properties.
October 14th, 2007 at 12:56 pm
Second Life? I’m nicking this one. Green can have the other.
October 14th, 2007 at 1:42 pm
Ha, bloody ha. Very good rip on the Tate.
October 14th, 2007 at 10:53 pm
Only last weekend in one of our increasingly rare, joint culture vuture ventures, the missus and me hit the Tate o’ the North in dear old Albert’s dock.
Look, sez me to she:”I could have saved this place a fortune in printing costs. No need for all the different title (and long winded, rambling explanations) plaques. A single, one-size-fits-all one would’a dun ‘em - and saved ‘em a bloody bundle ta boot.”
“The King has no clothes.”