New Portrait for Cabinet Room
The Prime Minister has unveiled a new tribute to his wife in the form of a twelve foot portrait, done in oils, installed in Downing Street’s Cabinet Room. He was then forced to respond to critics who suggest that he is presiding over a government suffering crises like the last days of the Borgias. He reminded his critics that the notoriety of that family ignores the great good they did. ‘Hey, you know, they were patrons of the arts and, you know, I’m a patron of the arts. They were Popes and I’d like to be the next Pope. But that’s about it. There the similarities end. I mean, come on… What do you think of the painting, guys? It’s a Rolf Harris original.’
Speaking off the record, one senior member of the Party admitted that he found the canvas ‘bloody hideous’, explaining: ‘It’s really eerie… like she’s peering out at you. I’ve not felt this sick since I worked the winter routes for P&O ferries.’ Another colleague reports that it makes him feel ‘Doomed!’ and has already drawn up plans to have the picture removed should he get the chance. Although other responses have been more muted, a junior member of the cabinet did confess that they found the portrait distracting. ‘Thank the Lord I have my cilice to take my mind off it,’ they said under the cover of complete anonymity.
