The sport of ‘cheese rolling’ has been banned after animal rights activists claimed it was disrespectful to dairy products. Although no cheese is actually involved in the sport, the art of ‘cheese rolling’ had become a popular pastime in the UK where it has been the cause of forty seven serious injuries this year, including the death of a 47 year old fitted-kitchen salesman from Norwich. From now on, the Dairy Council promises to investigate any misuse of the term ‘cheese’ and will prosecute any usage that ’seems inappropriate given the hard work and sacrifice that cows make each year in the production of our milk’. Acknowledging the change in the law, a government spokesman said: ‘We’re not about ruining people’s fun, but it’s a matter of being sensitive to the feelings of the cows. If people want to indulge in a bit of “rolling the fitted-kitchen salesman to his death”, then it’s fine by us.’

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