Amnesty International are set to launch a campaign to prevent Amnesty International relaunching The Secret Policeman’s Ball. ‘We see this is cruel and inhumane treatment of those people who appreciate good comedy,’ said a spokesman for the organisation. ‘We will do everything in our power to bring this morally objectionable behaviour to an end. Although Amnesty International did a great deal of good with the first Secret Policeman’s Ball, subsequent shows have helped create some of light entertainment’s biggest monsters. We are not going to let that happen again. Does nobody remember the lessons we learned with Lenny Henry?’

It is rumoured the recent theft of a social conscience that Ben Elton kept under his bed for these occasions was the first in a campaign of direct action by hardline members of the organisation. ‘We’re determined this won’t go ahead,’ said a source inside Amnesty. Meanwhile, a different source inside Amnesty said, ‘I’m sure the show will be a great success. We’re hoping that some of the characters from Little Britain will be able to make it, so I’m sure the audience are in for some totally original comedy on the night.’

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