In a move that has surprised many in the music industry, Rod Stewart’s facial mole has launched a solo career. ‘I think it’s about time I showed everybody what I can do,’ said the mole. ‘I’ve had to sit beside that mouth, listening to it make a bloody racket over the last half century, and I think it’s time I get a chance.’ The Mole’s first album, titled ‘Simply Mole’, is expected to lead to a world tour, while it is already hot favourite to have a Christmas number 1, with the single, ‘Holy Moley’.

Meanwhile, Mr. Stewart has denied reports that he’s considering having the mole replaced by an extra nipple and instead wished his mole well. ‘The thing is, I’ll have to be at every performance since it’s still attached to my face. It will be odd being up on stage and not being the one doing the performing.’ Yet perhaps the biggest surprise is the news that the mole already has a fan club. ‘It seems that many of the people who loved Rod, actually loved me… his mole… and they couldn’t care less about the rest of him. They seem to think I’m cute. So far, I’ve had two offers of marriage and I’m considering them both very carefully.’

Although Joe Cocker’s beard had a short lived career in the seventies, it is thought that this is the first time that a pop star’s appendage has decided to go independent of the star and perform a world tour. Already, the gap in Madonna’s teeth has declared an interest in a similar venture. ‘If the mole is successful, then perhaps I’ll think of doing my own album and tour,’ it said before quipping: ‘I think it’s high time there’s a gap in the market…’

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