Charles Kennedy continues to fight for his political life tonight, as members of his party turn on him like a pack of rabid Ozzy Osbourne’s invading a free-range bat hatchery. Kennedy has enjoyed an unchallenged run as leader of Britain’s third party, but now looks increasingly likely to fall in the coming days after the revelation that he has been treated for a serious drink problem.

‘I don’t understand it,’ said Kennedy speaking to typically sober reporters on Friday, ‘the government has just introduced all-day licensing, and when Freddie Flintoff went on a 24 hour bender during the summer, everybody thought it wonderful. I confess to enjoying a tipple and I’m suddenly enemy number one. Perhaps I’m more in touch with public opinion than some people appreciate.’

Kennedy may have a point. In a recent survey, 24% of Brits thought that it was a private matter, whilst another 20% didn’t believe being drunk made much of a difference to how a politician functions. Only 10% thought it a problem, whilst the remaining 46% slid into the gutter where they tried to dislodge some dried garlic bread from a pocketful of change they hoped might pay for a taxi home.

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