President George W. Bush today reached an agreement with the European Union and the British Goverment to close down the enemy combatants holding camp. In return for the agreement, President Blair agreed to send over the 100 tory A listers for indefinite confinement inside the camp. Surprisingly the agreement was welcomed by all three main political parties. An unnamed Tory source commented ‘Frankly we’re fed up of hearing about this smug bunch of egoists. I’m sure they’ll feel at home over there in Cuba, especially the ex Public School boys who will feel at home in the cages. They’ll all have a copy of The Telegraph to read in their cell so we won’t be depriving them of their religious rights. Whether we let them out in time for the next election in 3 years is for discussion later. We’re pretty sure they’re not going to be missed!’ (Written by our cycling correspondent, The Injured Cyclist)

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