Success hadn’t helped TV funnyman Johnny Vegas to lose weight. Until now, that is… After a crash diet consisting of nothing but pickled onions and raw herring, Johnny revealed his new shape at a charity swimwear exhibition in London on Monday. ‘I couldn’t have done it without the help of my celebrity friends,’ said Johnny, adding: ‘It’s a fake tan but it’s the same old Vegas.’ After admitting to a craving for pork scratchings he said: ‘But at least you can’t make fun of me any more because I’m fat!’

Asked about his striking resemblance to David Hasselhoff, Vegas’s confidence crumbled: ‘Oh, is that supposed to be funny?’ he bellowed. ‘You make fun of me because I look like the Knight Rider? So clever that is… But you don’t see me when I go home to my bedsit and go to sleep crying. Oh no. You just like to ridicule those of us who look like the Hoff.’

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