The government has defended its plans to introduce a new range of Gatso speed cameras onto British roads. The cameras come armed with twin multiple-rocket pods and a heat seeking missile capable of disabling a vehicle nearly thirty miles from the point where a speeding offence was committed. ‘This is a deterrent,’ said transport secretary, Douglas Alexander. ‘If drivers know that they face the risk of being hit by a high explosive ordinance, they might think a little more carefully about speeding. And with a thirty mile range, we can have highly trained controllers review the tapes before they decide to fire the missiles.’

Leaked government figures have revealed that they expect nearly 2000 casualties each year as a direct result of the new speed cameras, but they projections also estimate that accidental deaths will drop by nearly 4000. Said a transport expect, ‘these might seem a bit dramatic but in real terms, Britain’s roads will be safer.’

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