Paris Hilton has declared that she now considers herself Irish after family genealogists established that the long and noble line of Hilton ancestors includes a branch of Irish tinkers. The hotel heiress brought experts in from the Royal College of Arms to research her lineage after one of her team of thirty stylists mentioned odd tufts of hair growing on her upper cheeks. ‘We didn’t know what they were or where they came from,’ she explained to Ancestor magazine, ‘but when I mentioned to my make up guy that I’ve been drinking quite a bit of stout, he suggested I should have the family tree checked for any Irish ancestors.’

Confirmation of the Hilton family’s Irish branch came last week and Paris has promised to be a fine representative of her spiritual homeland. ‘I’ve already allowed my eyebrows to grow, so I have, and I intend to adopt the Irish accent as soon as I can get a voice coach, so I am,’ she said.

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