Fears Grow As Outbreak of Orange Spreads to North London
Government officials have urged the nation to remain calm as the latest outbreak of the colour orange continues. ‘We believe that we’ve got it isolated in a single house,’ they said, Thursday, ‘but we urge people to remain vigilant as there’s a good chance it could break through our barriers sometime Friday evening. If you are approached by the colour orange, please report it to the authorities at once, and on no account give it any publicity. The colour orange spreads rapidly through the media and before you know it, it could have established itself on prime time television.’
Speaking to reporters, government health officer, Dr. Neville Turnpike Spears said: ‘the symptoms include a rapid decline in mental powers and an urge for celebrity that goes beyond anything ever seen before by medical science.’ The news will worry many who have witnessed the colour’s falling reputation since its heady days as one of the nation’s favourite un-rhymed word. A brief renaissance during the Nineties saw the colour once again at the height of its popularity but nothing could have predicted its current miserable condition. ‘I don’t know what to make of it,’ said Felicity Grubar, Director of the Orange Institute. ‘It was once the shade of Oompah Lumpah and our favourite type of chocolate fruit.’ Asked if she feared that the latest outbreak could match the last epidemic, known as ‘The Des O’Connor Syndrome’, Ms. Grubar went pale. ‘I sincerely hope not,’ she said. ‘For all our sakes: I pray that we can contain it in time.’
