Members of the Conservative Party are being urged to put Polly Toynee dolls in the rear windows of their cars in order to show their support for the party’s new softer policies. The initiative comes as policy adviser Greg Clark suggests that the party should adopt more of the ideas of the Guardian columnist who ’supplies imagery that is more appropriate for Conservative social policy in the 21st century.’Churchill was funny for a while and everybody laughed when he nodded his head,’ said Mr. Clark. ‘But let’s face it: he grew old, very quickly, and has been made to look outdated by newer novelty dolls. I advise Tories to think long and hard about adopting a Toynbee since I think she’ll be very big this Christmas. But if they think they can’t manage it, they could always buy a Garfield doll to stick to their car’s window, though if they choose this route, they stand the risk of being confused for a Liberal Democrat.’

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