The Ashes: Controversy As England Field New Bat Design

England cricket team introduce new cricket bat for first Ashes test

In events recalling Dennis Lillee’s notorious aluminium cricket bat, the Ashes series opened with the Australian team complaining about the new high-tech bat being used by the English tourists. ‘It’s cheating!’ said Australian captain, Ricky Ponting. ‘It completely takes all the legside fielders from the game. There’s no need for a leg slip, a leg gully, square leg, not even a third leg…’ Clearly distraught, Australia’s Justin Langer lamented the effect the new bat would have on the batsman’s game. ‘There’ll be no leg glances, no leg drives, and none of those lovely chances to tickle the ball off the legs.’ Meanwhile, the English team have insisted that the new bat doesn’t contravene the laws of the game. ‘We love it, yeah, yeah, yeah,’ said an unrepentant Andrew Flintoff.

2 Responses to “The Ashes: Controversy As England Field New Bat Design”

  1. Atyllah or Not, who knows... Says:

    hmmm, would have thought they needed something bigger than that - with hands as well as feet…

  2. Chuck Unsworth Says:

    Heather Mills McCartney involved in this somehow?

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