Tony Blair Reveals Relatives Wore No Clothes
Prime Minister Tony Blair has revealed that some of his ancestors were neolithic cave dwellers who wore no clothes and took part in the mass eradication of the the sabre-toothed tiger and the woolly mammoth. In a speech at London Zoo, Mr. Blair apologised to the world’s population of elephants and tigers for the involvement Britain had in wiping out their relatives. ‘We were a nomadic people and we didn’t know what we were doing,’ he said. ‘And for that, we are truly sorry.’
The latest announcement has already been criticised by Blair’s opponents as another attempt by the Prime Minister to take the moral high ground and make empty apologies for actions committed generations ago. It is an accusation he has strongly denied. ‘It is part of our nature to take the high ground,’ he said. ‘We are a nation of hunter gatherers and we still seek an advantage over the deer and the antelope. When the fire god rises in the sky, we take our spears and fight the great mammoth and the vicious creature with the big white teeth we call Gordon.’
November 26th, 2006 at 9:23 pm
I may need to see my optometrist again, but I could swear that Tone’s weaponry is slightly bent - sort of like the rest of him, then. And the make-up crew have done wonders with his hair - again.
November 27th, 2006 at 3:10 pm
How do you know? I thought I’d cropped his weapon out of the picture…
Oh sorry! You meant his spear. Yes, yes, it does look bent but it’s actually the British army’s primary assault weapon for Iraq. It never ever sticks, jams, or misfires.
November 27th, 2006 at 4:06 pm
I believe it’s the Mark II spear,sub contracted out to Heckler and Koch in Germany,the Mark I British made version was too sharp and failed its Health and Safety inspection!
November 27th, 2006 at 4:48 pm
That’s right, Scipio. Of course, the Americans claim they have much better spears but, actually, many of them involve lots of moving parts. They also have silly names such as the ‘M16′ and the ‘B52′. When will they learn to be satisfied with a pointed stick?