Tony Blair is set to offer students a chance to avoid having to study for the dreaded ‘A’ levels. By choosing to pay a study levy, teenagers will be able to lounge around the house while children in poor third world countries will do the work for them.

Based on the the emissions trading scheme, which sees the rich industrialised nations buying unused emission credits from less developed nations, the ‘lessons trading scheme’ should prove a popular route into university for many students who would still be spending their undergraduate years learning to spell, construct grammatical sentences, and do rudimentary calculus. A university spokesperson who refused to be named said: ‘Given that most of them would learn very little by doing an A level, their paying to not study isn’t going to make much of a difference.’

Clearly hoping that his policies will prove popular with a new generation of voters, Mr. Blair praised the scheme by explaining that ‘this way, our teenagers get to do what they like doing the best, while we help increase the education standards in poorer countries.’ When asked if he thought it would increase the levels of teenager apathy, illiteracy, and anti-social behaviour, the Prime Minister shrugged his shoulders and said ‘who cares?’

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