Denier Denies Court’s Denial Denied Denier Chance to Deny Denial of Denial
Holocaust Denier David Irving has been freed by a court in Austria and has immediately accused his judges of denying him the right to deny reports that he has issued a denial of his original denial. ‘I deny it,’ he told journalists who greeted him at the prison gates. ‘I deny it all, damn you! Don’t you know I’m a denier? I’m a man who is world famous for my denials. How dare you mock me with these sham, half-hearted denials. I’ll out deny the lot of you! And you can’t deny that!’
The historian then told reporters that ‘I have been in solitary confinement for 400 days and you can imagine how awful that is.’
Psychologists, however, have been quick to deny that it could be that bad even if he was trapped with himself for his only company. ‘Sounds terrible but it probably didn’t happen,’ said Professor Franz Jentz Hector, head of the Institute of Denial Studies in Saltsburg. ‘And even if it did happen, it probably wasn’t that bad. It was probably only twenty days and he probably had lots of company. In fact, he probably had a ball and loved every moment of it. It was probably more like a holiday camp.’
‘I deny it all,’ Irving told reporters when told of Professor Hector’s comments. ‘That man knows nothing of denials. I deny he’s ever a professor.’
Meanwhile, an independently commissioned artist’s impression (above) of Dr. Irving’s confinement suggest that he probably had lots of company and very pretty company it probably was too.*
‘I don’t deny that,’ smiled Dr. Irving as he waxed his eyebrows. ‘I mean, one can’t deny the ladies, can one?’
*If you happen to like brazen Rumanian strumpet types desperate for UK citizenship and a bit of ‘Lembit lovin’. And don’t deny you don’t.
