Ashes Outrage: Australia’s Bowling Tactics Leaked
The cricketing world has been quick to heap universal condemnation upon the leaking of a photocopy of Australia’s bowling tactics for the current Ashes series. An A4 sheet handed to journalists purports to detail the Australian team’s plan for combating the formidable English batting lineup. Said Sky Sport’s Ian Botham: ‘This is the sort of information the Australian team wouldn’t want their opponents to know. It will probably swing the series back in favour of the tourists and I’d say that the battle for the Ashes is back on again.’
Meanwhile, the Australian team have lodged a complaint with match officials. ‘We’ll have to rethink our whole selection policy,’ said captain Ricky Ponting, who went on to hint at the immediate dropping of Shane Warne from the team. ‘Now the English team know our tactics, Warney is clearly of no use to us now,’ Ponting confirmed.
The English dressing room has been quick to deny suggestions that they hope to gain any advantage from the leak. ‘We won’t be responding to this in any way,’ said Duncan Fletcher. ‘Speaking for the team, we’ll be out there are usual tomorrow morning, playing the same high standard of Test Match cricket we’re known for and putting our faith in our usual opening pairing of Sir Tim Rice and Sir Mick Jagger.’
December 28th, 2006 at 11:39 pm
Outrageous. I was listening when they discussed it on the commentary here in Australia. Your take is hilarious and even funnier than the original item.
December 29th, 2006 at 12:22 am
You’re so right, Colin. It is outrageous. I thought the whole thing sillier than the usual silliness that surrounds the England team. Flintoff seems halfway to complete inebriation every time I see him interviewed but the notion that a piece of paper could alter the fate of the Ashes this year is such a delusion it continues to remind me why I’ve given up on cricket and prefer the Premiership. We only won the Ashes last year on an unhealthy diet of luck and this tour to Australia was always going to show us up as the second rate team we really are.
December 30th, 2006 at 12:42 am
Roll on Sydney
December 30th, 2006 at 1:00 am
Surely Jeremy, you mean ‘Roll Over in Sydney’? That’s what they’ve done every other time they’ve played.
December 31st, 2006 at 11:19 am
[…] Ashes Outrage: Australia s Bowling Tactics LeakedThe cricketing world has been quick to heap universal condemnation upon the leaking of a photocopy of Australia s bowling tactics for the current Ashes series. An A4 sheet handed to journalists purports to detail the Australian team s … […]