Former World Heavyweight Champion Mike Tyson has admitted for the first time that he’s addicted to sherbet. ‘It’s a long time problem I’ve been trying to battle with the help of hypnosis, acupuncture, and hard drugs,’ said Tyson during an emotional interview to be shown on CBS next week. ‘Most people think sherbet is an innocent sweet but I know different. It consumes your soul until there’s nothing you wouldn’t do to get your next fix of its fizzy goodness. People think I had my face tattooed to look mean but it’s actually dried liquorice from all the sherbet fountains I’ve been eating.’ Added a tearful Tyson: ‘A sherbet dab makes me so mean.’

During his troubled past, Tyson has battled cravings for Curly Whirlies, pear drops, Cadbury chocolate buttons, and, most infamously, Mollie Sudgen from the BBC’s ‘Are You Being Served?’ This is the first time he’s gone public about his problems.

‘With the right help, I’m sure I can beat this,’ he said but when the interviewer tempted him with a sherbet fountain the extent of his craving became all too apparent as he began to lash out. It took Mrs. Mildred Pierce (82) to finally calm him when she floored him with a right hook. Technically Mrs. Pierce is now the WBC heavyweight champion and will be expected to defend her title in September if a suitable opponent can be found.

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