Breaking news coming from the Arctic Circle. The notoriously vicious baby seal has launched a violent attack on Paul and Heather Mills McCartney. Our resident artist, here at The Spine, has tried to capture what this incident might have looked like but, without doubt, the cruelty of the episode is likely to cause renewed appeals for the authorities to reconsider the place of baby seals in areas populated by well-meaning multi-millionaire pop stars.

A cull is now likely with Sting leading protests to have the baby seals outlawed. ‘These animals are a plight to the existence of us rockers,’ said the laid-back lead singer of 1980s’ supergroup, Police. Bono has called for calm. ‘If we need to cull the seals,’ he said from New York, ‘then we should do so in the proper time and when I’ve finished my current album. Then I’ll be able to escape the studio and come and help round them up. I’ve got a particularly nasty piece of three-by-two at home with a bent nail stuck in the end.’

Developing…

This entry was posted on Friday, March 3rd, 2006 at 2:36 pm and is filed under News . You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.