Next year’s Nobel prize for Mathematics may well have a celebrity theme after Russian mathematics prodigy, Sergei Sumovabich, proved that Queen guitarist Brian May is actually a fractal.

The complex mathematical proof has yet to be verified by his peers but Sumovabich believes his elegant twenty-seven page solution explains Queen’s success. ‘They are a band with infinite complexity which you can listen to again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again…’ said the slightly eccentric rock fan. ‘And the thing with fractals is that no matter how closely you examine them, they never ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever become boring. Now ask me some more questions. Or the same questions. I really don’t mind repeating myself. I find it therapeutic.’

Dr. Sumovabich went on to explain that fractal theory describes the way that the evidently complicated shapes and patterns we see in nature are governed by relatively simple rules. If the Russian’s theory is proved correct, it is believed that mathematicians will have found a shortcut to modelling the human form with mathematics.

‘That means that Brian May will be easy to generate within computer simulations,’ explained Professor Rudy Urlich III of Boston University. ‘The world of computer gaming, for instance, will change radically. It’s been very hard for programmers to creature realistic human shapes with hair and texture but if they have a formula for Brian May, then gamers might soon be playing increasingly life life games inside virtual worlds populated by hundred, thousands, if not millions of Brian Mays.’

Share prices of Sony, Microsoft, and Nintendo plummeted at the news.

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