John Reid has announced that plans are advancing quickly within the government to split the Home Office into two separate ministries. Said Dr. Reid on Monday: ‘No longer will people be able to say that the Home Office doesn’t know its arse from its elbow. With the creation of these new ministries, we’re proving that this government is, firstly, proactive in sorting problems out; that, secondly, we’re committed to clear and transparent government; and that, thirdly, we do like to be seen on TV standing outside buildings revealing nice new shiny plaques.’

The Ministry of the Elbow will be in charge of law and order, while the Ministry of the Arse will be given mainly bureaucratic duties and the day to day running of the prison’s service. The Conservatives responded by claiming that the government are only copying their own plans and David Davies has accused Dr. Reid of ‘a knee jerk reaction to the problems’. Dr. Reid issued a written statement saying that ‘the government will be looking into creating a separate Ministry of the Knee in the coming days’.

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