Experts in computer modelling and predictive analysis are warning that a supersized Mexican baby may have a future that lies in the English town of Hull. Using the most advanced algorithms, able to estimate the future appearance and job prospects of a person, experts have narrowed the child’s career options down to either becoming a stand up comedian in Manchester or a Labour party worker in Hull.

‘The forecasts are fairly accurate even at this early stage,’ said Professor Pat Pending of Exeter University. ‘Based on previous data collected on subjects showing the same infant characteristics, this child will be blessed with abnormal amounts of luck in whatever career it chooses and will advance well beyond its abilities. It could even rise to become deputy in charge of some large failing company.’

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