Users of Google Earth have been finding some of the oddest shapes which are only visible from high above the ground. The queerest of all the has been spotted in rural Hampshire and the village of Downing Upon the Street. This is where the shrewdest of crop circle aficionados have been gathering to interpret the cryptic markings with many suggesting they are full of portent.

‘I can’t see a thing,’ said the local landowner, Laird Levy of Hamshire. ‘And what’s more, I didn’t see a thing either.’

Others with keener eyes are quick to argue that the signs are heavy with meaning. ‘You’d be a fool to miss them,’ said one member of the local constabulary. ‘The signs are all there if you care to look. I don’t know what to make of them except to say that if we catch anybody involved in this business, there could well be custodial sentence.’ Asked what the charges might be for somebody involved in ruining crops, the constable paused and looked out across the fields. ‘Without a doubt,’ he replied, ‘it would be a matter of perverting the course of harvest.’

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