Sting has promised to do at least half the peddling after persuading the other members of The Police to get on their bikes for a world tour. ‘I have calves like granite and thighs like lead,’ said the singer before making every member of the assembled media feel his legs. ‘I’ve spent the last two years training for this tour and I can now confirm we’ll be going around the world again.’

The band will be abandoning the luxury lifestyle of jets and limos in favour of a fleet of 27 speed Dawes Galaxy bicycles. Drummer Stewart Copeland admits that the challenge will be far greater for those in the group that have never cycled before. ‘This will be one of our most exciting tours,’ he admitted. ‘Unlike the time he made each us adopt an Amazonian tribe, this is one of Sting’s better ideas. We all trust in the power of his legs. Has he made you feel them yet?’

Sting has repeatedly promised to beat U2 to the record of making the first carbon neutral tour by a major band. Last year, Bono announced his long term ambition to tour the world in a kayak with the Rolling Stones promising the same only in wheelchairs. ‘

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