£600,000 Bionic Arm To Increase Government Efficiency The government has finally introduced the recommendations made by the recent efficiency study into the workings of the Deputy Prime Minister’s office. The most radical change is the introduction of a new £600,000 bionic arm which officials say will ensure that at least 50% more work gets done by the Deputy Prime Minister each day.

John Prescott had his first trial of the arm last week and is said to have been impressed by its versatility as he tested its capabilities doing a variety of normal everyday tasks, such as undoing buttons, squeezing melons, and pulling up his socks.

‘The only problem is that arm seems to have a life of its own,’ one source inside the department told us. ‘That’s not too bad but his other two arms also have minds of their own which makes it quite difficult for those us working close to him. We’ve all started to call him Dr. Octopus after the villain in Spiderman but we’ve given up hoping their might be a web slinger who can defeat him.’

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