As their fund-raiser, Lord Levy, continues to protest his innocence, Labour Party donors have been defending the government from accusations that party officials traded honours for cash. ‘I’ve earned everything through hard graft,’ said seventeen year old porn magnate, Viscount Sir Andrew ‘Smithy’ Smith, OBE, KGB, Knight Errant of the Order of St. Michael, High Commissioner of The Cross. ‘The idea that I could pay my way into the establishment insults not just me but my whole family. The whole business has been a terrible ordeal and we can hardly attend the opera without all the commoners staring at us in our box.’ 

It has been alleged that rich business men, sympathetic to the Labour Party, have been given honours in exchange for loans. It is a charge dismissed as ‘the cheapest form of politics’ by an unnamed spokesman who insisted that ‘we wouldn’t never stoop so low for anything less than a knighthood’.

Developing…

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