On the day that Ford sold the company to a UK consortium, Aston Martin have revealed their new green version of the Vanquish.

The car comes complete with twin wind turbines to power the CD changer, a solar panel on the bonnet to run the windscreen wipers (except on cloudy or rainy days), and headlights equipped with long life, low energy bulbs. The front of the car has also been subtly adapted to include two airbags specially designed not to harm squirrels, hedgehogs, or children.

‘With this Vanquish we’ve done everything we could to make it friendly to the environment yet retain its sleek lines,’ said lead design engineer, Reginald Woodbine. ‘Two thirds of its outer shell is made from recycled yogurt pots and its engine has been heavily modified to work with on a single cylinder. We’ve planted water cress in the other seven to help keep the engine running cool and clean.’

Mr. Woodbine was quick to dispel fears that the compromises also extend to performance. ‘The car’s top speed is capped at a more than respectable 69mph,’ he admitted. ‘Research has shown us that most of our owners never go that fast and new owners are sure to like innovation as they will never need to again worry about the exceeding the highest speeds allowed on Britain’s roads.’

The car drew mixed receptions at the Geneva Motor Show with many journalists questioning the inclusion of fold out steps. ‘We’ve done our calculations,’ said Mr. Woodbine. ‘Most people who own an Aston Martin are elderly by the time they can afford one of our cars and asked that we provide an easy way into the driver’s seat, which owners will also be delighted to hear are now fully non-absorbant and easily wiped down in case of accidents’.

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