Contrite Flintoff Ends England Exile

Flintoff returns to full strength England team

After his attempt to sail a pedalo to Cuba ended with his being rescued from the open sea, Andrew Flintoff accepted his punishment on Monday by agreeing to model the new England cricket strip.

The kit is the most high-tech strip yet fielded by an international team, with a new luminous orange protective helmet and an integrated drinks system that ensures that the players will not dehydrate in the West Indian heat. Its inventors claim that although it looks like a traffic cone, the helmet’s high crown ensures that cool air will gather at the bottom, with the hot air rising to the top. It also affords maximum protection when staggering drunk down the middle of a duel carriageway.

‘The guys love it,’ added Flintoff on his way to get another round of drinks from the bar. ‘A traffic cone on the head has to be one of the top ten funniest pranks’. Asked what he thought the funniest, he replied that ’sailing a pedalo to Cuba is pretty funny but even that isn’t as funny as the idea of England winning the Ashes. That was just a riot.’

One Response to “Contrite Flintoff Ends England Exile”

  1. Blacksheep Says:

    Excellent piece of work, captures the essence perfectly.

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