His well known devotion to British TV programmes of the seventies has caught up with Iranian President Ahmadinejad. Speaking earlier this week, the President declared his intention to see, Knut, the little Berlin polar bear, transferred to a Tehran zoo where it will be killed to become a puppet on Ahmadinejad’s new children’s show on Iranian state TV.

Government officials made the offer to Berlin’s zoo early this week and they’ve been encouraged by the response. It is thought that the President sees the bear as the perfect size for his hand. Although the English title of the show is ‘The World Without Knut Show’, the literal translation is ‘Knut The Fist Bear Says No To Chopperty Chop Off Hands At The Wristies’ and will educate Iran’s children about the consequences of shoplifting.

Ahmadinejad has already invited Matthew Corbett to his country to mentor him as he learns the trade. ‘The President is passionate about puppetry and Sooty in particular,’ said Corbett. ‘We’re hoping that Sooty, Sweep, and Sue will all make guest appearances and Sweep is very excited at the prospect of getting hands on with a bit of limb amputation.’