Lucien Freud’s latest commission is bound to raise a few pounds as well as the customary eyebrows. His latest subject is TV funnyman Sid Little, who he agreed to capture on canvas as part of this year’s Comic Relief.

As part of the agreement that saw the normally reclusive painter take part, Rolf Harris had to agree to paint his first nude study of a three hundred pound female midget holding a pot of gladioli over her head. ‘It was a challenge,’ admitted Rolf, breathlessly. ‘But in the end I even managed to get little Rolfaroo on her right buttock.’

Meanwhile, Sid Little was more than happy with his likeness. ‘I think it’s smashing,’ said Sid. ‘Though I didn’t like the way that Rolf turned up at the studio and forced his way into my pants just to draw a Rolfaroo on my buttocks.’

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