Level Up: Grey Elf Advances To Level Three
‘It was a great karmic experience though there was a horrible aroma of goat,’ said Gere. ‘It felt like I was floating on a sea of good reviews. I’ve not felt like that since I starred in Days of Heaven which oddly enough, also smelt of goat.’
Bloom meanwhile has finally responded to critics who complain that spiritual enlightenment should not be mocked by cheap jokes about levitation. ‘To be enlightened is to know that a smile is better than a frown,’ the grey elf said before retiring to his banyan tree where he was said to be experimenting with his new powers of night vision, increased sneak abilities, and an extra slot for a level one spell.
April 26th, 2007 at 11:59 am
I say, can he really levitate a goat and Richard Gere? Seriously? I had no idea. That’s amazing.
Come on! It’s a joke, isn’t it?
Isn’t it?
April 26th, 2007 at 3:59 pm
Only reporting what I’ve been told. I didn’t believe the story about goat but Gere is clearly very floatable. It’s all the lentils he eats that give him a natural buoyancy.
April 26th, 2007 at 5:25 pm
This is like sheer poetry. What will Orlando do next??
By the way, Leo DiCaprio is also very enlightened. He drives a car that runs on lentils, or something.
April 26th, 2007 at 5:40 pm
I see that Grey Elf is already at Level Three. What is the highest level? What do you need to able to levitate to qualify for that? Plus, how high do they have to go?
Do you also need to wear special clothes?
Plus, can you appear in Hello magazine at the same time (well, yes, obviously not if there is a special feature about “Sir” Cliff Richard in the same edition, but if “Sir” Clifford isn’t in it, for example, can you still be in Hello while, say, levitating Vesuvius?)?
April 26th, 2007 at 6:41 pm
By the way, I’ve linked to this. I couldn’t help it, it just flowed sort of seamlessly…
April 27th, 2007 at 8:34 am
fantastic, he’s massive leaps and bounds in his spiritual enlightenment - what a week its been for our Orlando!
I wonder who he’s going to levitate next…….. Tom Cruise perhaps? Ah no, thats scientology isn’t it?
nice one David, keep them coming - my friday has now reached a state of enlightenment in its own way!!
slap X
April 28th, 2007 at 1:40 pm
Definitely a bit of a leaf-head, isn’t he?