After a long day spent at her piercing business in Nottingham, Laura Coates couldn’t be bothered to cook herself a meal when she got from work on Monday night. Instead, the twenty seven year old single mother ordered herself a curry from her local takeaway, thinking she was in for a taste sensation from the Far East. Instead, she found herself in nostril hell as she discovered the severed nose of TV celebrity Chris Tarrant in her prawn jalfrezi.

It’s thought the nose entered the food chain during Tarrant’s knife fight in a curry house on Monday. He didn’t report the nostrils missing until four hours later, by which time they’d been lightly broiled and seasoned with a rich mixture of exotic condiments.

Ms. Coates is pragmatic about her find and promises to return the nose to the celebrity presenter. ‘I’m honoured to have helped Chris find his nostrils,’ she said. ‘I’ve washed his nose from him and managed to get every big of curry powder from up his nostrils. I’ve also given it a piercing and attached a chain so that Chris can be sure he won’t lose his nose again the next time it falls off.’

Tarrant admitted he was delighted by the find. ‘It’s dust fabulous dat my dose is coming back to me,’ he said. ‘At least it means I’ll stop talking in dis silly voice. Ur-hugh!’

This entry was posted on Tuesday, May 15th, 2007 at 11:42 am and is filed under News . You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.