Scientists Cure Bald Mice
Bald mice with low self-esteem might soon find an answer to their prayers after scientists successfully grew mouse toupees under laboratory conditions. Mixing the animal’s DNA and that from celebrity human test subjects, scientists have created small patches of hair that look indistinguishable from the animal’s natural coat yet have the distinguishable characteristics of their donor.
‘This is the first major breakthrough in toupee design since the 1970s and the invention of the Shatner weave,’ said Dr. Albert Prune of Geneva’s Bald Mice Institute. ‘We hope that this method will be easily applied to humans. We have discovered that with just a bit of DNA from Terry Wogan, we’ll be able to grow the world’s most technologically advanced toupee, impervious to mid-life crises, self-doubt, and transvestite Eurovision finalists from the Ukraine.’
May 17th, 2007 at 4:11 pm
Those mice are wearing toupees? I would never have guessed. Simply amazing!!!
May 17th, 2007 at 4:15 pm
I’ll be really impressed when I see humans wearing mice on their heads… No, scrub that, that will be a really bad idea and just more animal cruelty. Tsk.
May 17th, 2007 at 5:53 pm
Paul, I know how hard it is to tell but I think you can see the join if you look carefully.
Atyllah, I really don’t know where you come up with these silly ideas. This is a serious news organisation and we only deal with facts not fiction.
May 17th, 2007 at 7:24 pm
what an advance for me and my bald brethern: instead of pricey oils that help us grow baby hair on our head, we can now grow mouse hair.
side effects: fear of cats, shitting in kitchen cupboards
May 17th, 2007 at 10:01 pm
Okay, Adandamide, you win the ‘Comment of the Week’ award.
May 23rd, 2007 at 10:57 am
Serious news organisation - oooh heee heeee haaa haaaaa heeee ooooohhh.
I’m tickled yellow!
May 23rd, 2007 at 1:32 pm
I have no idea what you mean, Atyllah…
June 8th, 2007 at 12:41 am
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