We see that Reuters is today reporting that a “senior” member of an unidentified royal family is to become one of the first space tourists. While speculations run rife, only The Spine can confirm that the mysterious figure is none other than Prince Philip, Duke of Edinburgh, and soon to be the UK’s official ambassador.

We spoke to the Prince, who is currently undergoing rigorous training with NASA, and he explained how he has held a life-long fascination with the stars. ‘Can’t get enough of it,’ he admitted. ‘Not a single bloody reporter for miles up there.’ Yet, he also confessed that he sees this as a chance to indulge in another of his obsessions, xenophobia. ‘I might not get another chance to get away from all these bloody foreigners,’ he said before taking part in the last dry run before the launch which is scheduled for next Sunday. Asked if he was taking any significant lucky charms into space, Philip admitted to being a little superstitious. ‘I’m taking a shotgun,’ he said with a rueful smile. ‘I hope to bag some bloody pheasants. The little buggers won’t know whats hit them when pellets are raining down on them hot and angry from the wrong bloody direction.’

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