(Rule Britannia!)

The Brazilian end of the Live Earth concert has been cancelled after contractors failed to adequately clear the venue’s hundred acres of rainforest.

‘This is a huge disappointment to all of us,’ said event organizer, Al ‘Bash the Wombat’ Gore on Thursday. ‘We’d hoped to get some heavy duty lumber cutting equipment to speed things up but that was delayed while we fought an otherwise unknown tribe who don’t understand our good cause.’

Gore now hopes to call on his extensive contacts within the US government to help move the concert to nearby Argentina where defoliants will be spayed on a new concert site. ‘Despite this delay, we still hope that this concert will raise awareness of the terrible mess that we are all making of our precious Earth.’

Al Gore has been declared ready for the Live Earth concert after a specially modified extractor fan was fitted to his mouth. ‘We need to get all the hot air out of the arena as quickly as possible,’ explained event supervisor Dr. John Bleasdale. ‘In just one hour, the fan can shift a volume of hot air equivalent to the capacity of the new Wembley Stadium. We’ll have it working on full for the whole of the event.’

Gore himself has backed the installation. Just last month, his eyebrows ignited after hot air built up around his face during a fund raiser in California. ‘Unlike the Amazon jungle, my eyebrows have grown back,’ he said, ‘but how long can we expect this to happen when we’re destroying our planet?’

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There are times when even the most impartial news website needs to come out and take a stand against an injustice. The lack of any Thought Experiments for the last few days mustn’t be allowed to continue. Demand action of your MP. (Hat-tip to James for hat-tipping to Chip for explaining what’s happened to Bryan.)

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